James to Lily:
by MJshunpike
Summary: A bottomless web of notes is fabricated in Transfiguration class. These notes include Sirius’ problem with semicolons, Remus’ seat plan, Peter’s sleeping habits, and James’ problem with Lily’s love interest, who, unfortunately, isn’t him. Oneshot.


**James to Lily:**

_Summary_: A bottomless web of notes is fabricated in Transfiguration class. These notes include Sirius' problem with semi-colons, Remus' seat plan, Peter's sleeping habits, and James' problem with Lily's love interest, who, unfortunately, isn't him. One-shot.

_Disclaimer_: Of course I don't own Harry Potter. Who do you think I am, JoJo?

* * *

**James to Remus**: Oy, Moony! What are you doing over there? 

**Remus to James**: By "over there," do you mean two benches apart from you?

**James to Remus**: No, I mean over there, sitting beside my one true love?

**Remus to James**: If you were paying attention at the beginning of class, you would have noticed that Professor McGonagall told us to work in partners, and seeing as _your_ Quidditch match put Lily's best friend in the Hospital Wing, she is partner-less. Hence, the decision she made to sit beside me.

**James to Remus**: Why didn't she sit beside me?

**Remus to James**: Maybe because the seat next to you was already occupied by one Sirius Black?

**James to Remus**: Oh.

**James to Sirius**: Padfoot, you arse, why did you sit beside me? I could've been partnered up with Evans!

**Sirius to James**: I think the questions is: why didn't you sit beside her? I bet now she thinks you hate her!

**James to Sirius**: You think?

**Sirius to James**: Definitely.

**James to Sirius**: What should I do?

**Sirius to James**: Er, ask her out? This will only be, what, the thousandth time this year?

**James to Sirius**: Actually, it will be the…

**Sirius to James**: …yes?

**James to Sirius**: Wait for it…

**Sirius to James**: …

**James to Sirius**: the SEVENTY SEVENTH time!

**Sirius to James**: Ooo, let's see what magic's most powerful number can do for you, then!

**James to Sirius**: Yes, yes, hold your werewolves.

**James to Sirius**: Don't tell Moony I said that.

**Sirius to Remus**: Moony, Prongs wrote the "w" word.

**James to Sirius**: You told him, didn't you?

**Remus to James**: PRONGS!

**James to Remus**: I'm sorry, Moony, but that isn't a complete sentence. Please try again later.

**Sirius to James**: Ask her out, already!

**James to Sirius**: Alright, alright.

**James to Lily**: Evans, dearest, how about coming to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?

**Sirius to James**: Tough luck, Prongs. Though the way she crumpled that parchment made it resemble Dumbledore. Interesting effect.

**Peter to Sirius**: Padfoot, What's going on?

**Sirius to Peter**: Nothing, Wormtail. Go back to sleep.

**James to Remus**: Oy, Moony! What's up with Evans?

**Remus to James**: How about you try paying attention and take notes for once.

**James to Remus**: What's the point when I could use yours?

**Lily to James**: You're so thick, Potter.

**James to Lily**: She speaks!

**Remus to Lily**: What did you do that for, Lily? Now he'll never shut up!

**James to Lily**: Evans, my dearest, how I long for the bell to ring so that we can be together…

**Lily to James**: You better count on waiting longer than the end of class, Potter.

**James to Sirius**: Psst! Padfoot, what do you suppose this means? _"You better count on waiting longer than the end of class, Potter."__  
_

**Sirius to James**: Clearly, Evans is implying that you might have to wait, but you will have her _some_time in the future.

**James to Sirius**: Really?

**Sirius to James**: No.

**James to Sirius**: Can I just pretend you didn't say that then?

**Sirius to James**: Sure.

**James to Lily**: And how long, fair maiden, might that be?

**Lily to James**: When Filch is nice, Sirius hates Quidditch, Remus fails, and you grow up! In other words, NEVER!

**James to Lily**: Well, the Filch part might be difficult but rest is definitely a possibility.

**Cedric to Lily**: Lily, some friends of mine are going to Hogsmeade this Friday and we'd like you to come. Are you busy?

**James to Lily**: What did Smith write you?

**Lily to James**: None of your business.

**James to Remus**: Oy, Moony! What did Smith write Evans?

**Lily to Remus**: Stop leaning over my shoulder, Remus!

**Remus to Lily**: Sorry, but James would like to know what Cedric Smith wrote you.

**Lily to Remus**: Well you can tell Potter that he's a big-headed prat.

**Remus to James**: Nothing important, Prongs. Just an invitation to Hogsmeade, I expect.

**James to Lily**: SAY NO, EVANS!

**Lily to James**: Of course I'm saying no, you dim-wit!

**Lily to James**: In fact, why don't you tell Cedric that I say no?

**James to Lily**: OKAY!

**James to Cedric**: Evans says NO.

**Remus to James**: No, Prongs!

**James to Remus**: That's what I told Smith. "No."

**Cedric to Lily**: Thanks, Lily. Will you meet me at the Three Broomsticks at 6:00pm? P.S. What's with James sending me your note?

**Lily to Cedric**: 6:00 would be perfect. Don't mind Potter, he just suffers as my post boy once in a while.

**Lily to Remus**: STOP looking over my shoulder, Remus!

**Remus to James**: No, you dim-wit.

**James to Remus**: That's what I said, "no!"

**Remus to James**: NO, POTTER! You just told Cedric that NO, Lily is NOT busy at 6:00pm on Saturday!

**James to Remus**: OH MERLIN!

**James to Lily**: Evans, write Smith this second and –

**Sirius to James**: No! I've got a better idea, Prongs.

**James to Sirius**: …?

**Sirius to James**: Write Smith _yourself_ and tell him Lily said she can't come.

**James to Sirius**: But he'll know it was just from me.

**Sirius to James**: Then get Lily to write you like last time so Smith will think she told you to tell him.

**James to Sirius**: Okay.

**James to Lily**: Why, Evans, your hair is lovely today.

**James to Sirius**: It's not working! She's just ignoring me!

**Sirius to James**: Write something different.

**James to Sirius**: I can't think of anything that will make her write me back!

**Sirius to James**: Hmm… say she's got a nice arse.

**James to Lily**: Evans, you've got a nice arse.

**Sirius to James**: Omg, mate, that glare was sooo EVUL!!11

**Sirius to James**: Prongs?

**Sirius to James**: Hello?

**Sirius to James**: Anybody home?

**Sirius to James**: Would you stop staring at Evans like she's a time-bomb?

**James to Sirius**: Sorry, Padfoot. Err… what were we doing?

**Sirius to James**: Thinking of something that would make Evans write back to you.

**James to Sirius**: Oh, right. Well I can't think of anything.

**Sirius to James**: That certainly took a long time.

**James to Sirius**: No it didn't.

**Sirius to James**: I was being sarcastic, you dolt.

**James to Sirius**: Oh.

**Sirius to James**: Okay, just send Smith the note and maybe he won't notice that Evans never asked you to send him a note.

**James to Sirius**: Okay.

**James to Cedric**: Smith, Evans changed her mind. She says she can't go to Hogsmeade weekend with you became you are a thick prat and she's desperately in love with me.

**Cedric to Lily**: Er, Lily? James sent me this: _"Smith, Lily changed her mind. She says she can't go to Hogsmeade weekend with you became you are a thick prat and she's desperately in love with me."_

**Lily to Cedric**: Cedric, I give you my unlimited permission to hex Potter in every way possible. Actually, that's not permission, that's a command!

**Cedric to Lily**: Er –

**Lily to James**: Potter, you are the most egocentric little boy I have ever met! STOP TORMENTING ME!

**Sirius to James**: Well, Prongs, at least you got her to write you back.

**Sirius to James**: Prongs?

**Sirius to James**: Alright, mate? You look like you've just smelled Snape or something.

**James to Sirius**: _"Little boy" _!

**Sirius to James**: It's okay, Prongs, don't take it personally –

**James to Sirius**: Padfoot, shut up and look up synonyms of the word "tormenting."

**Sirius to James**: Let's see… ah! Here it is. Tormenting: enticing, tantalizing, exciting, tempting…

**James to Sirius**: WHAT! I'm _exciting_ and _tempting_ Evans?

**Sirius to James**: Hold on. You could also be pestering, bothering, annoying, and harassing her.

**James to Sirius**: Nah, I'm pretty sure I'm tantalizing her.

**Sirius to James**: No comment.

**James to Sirius**: If you don't have a comment, don't write a comment, because even if it says "no comment," it's still a comment!

**Sirius to James**: Fine, be a berk.

**James to Sirius**: What was I saying?

**Sirius to James**: Why should I tell you?

**James to Sirius**: Er, because I'm your best mate?

**Sirius to James**: Try harder.

**James to Sirius**: Because I offer you shelter every summer?

**Sirius to James**: I was thinking of something more along the lines of "I'll be your slave for a week."

**James to Sirius**: Awh, come on _Padsies_, be realistic.

**Sirius to James**: Stop it; you're annoying me.

**James to Remus**: Oy, Moony! I think Padfoot just used a semi-colon!

**Remus to Sirius**: Padfoot, I offer you my greatest congratulations.

**Sirius to Remus**: Thank you.

**James to Sirius**: AHA! I remember! We were talking about Evans' usage of the word "tormenting." She's obviously madly in love with me.

**Sirius to James**: How do you explain the evil glare?

**James to Sirius**: She just doesn't know that she loves me… yet. How do I make her realize the truth?

**Sirius to James**: Shout it at her.

**James to Sirius**: Now? In class?

**Sirius to James**: Absolutely. Women love dramatics.

**James to Sirius**: I don't know…

**Sirius to James**: Do it…

**Remus to Sirius**: I couldn't help but notice an evil glint in your eye, Padfoot. Are you abusing your control over Prongs again?

**Sirius to Remus**: How did you guess?

**Remus to Sirius**: Leave the poor bloke alone, Padfoot. I actually think he could have dated Lily at one point if you hadn't intervened.

**Sirius to Remus**: Well, it's a good thing I intervened then, isn't it? Merlin, Prongs obsesses over Evans enough already, imagine what he'd be like if they were going out.

**Remus to Sirius**: A heck of a lot happier than he is now.

**Sirius to Remus**: Fine, I'll tell him not to declare his love in front of McGonagall.

**Sirius to James**: Oy, James, don't shout –

**Peter to no one in particular**: What the – ?

**Remus to Sirius**: Too late, Padfoot.


End file.
